I started listening to your podcast this year and I find your advice really inspiring. I never thought I’d need it myself but you talk with such conviction I thought you might be able to help. I’ve recently moved to a new city where I don’t know anyone at all. I’m single (always have been, give or take a few odd things here and there), and have never really had a "group", so to speak.
There is nothing wrong with my self-esteem, I’m 25, confident, happy with the way I look and can hold a conversation with almost anyone. The reason for moving was simple, I thought I’d find the answers or solutions to my problems somewhere else. I’d been living at home throughout uni and I never managed to make any friends, though I don’t believe those two facts are related. Taking the step to move was a brave one, but I was adamant it would improve my situation.
I’m studying for masters, which will be extremely helpful when I eventually get on the career ladder at the end of the course, however I’m not sure I’m cut out for the lonely lifestyle it seems to have brought. I miss home, but I had no friends there. I’ve tried chatting to people on the course, only it’s difficult because it’s all different people in each class, and I’m only in for a few hours a week. I’ve applied for lots of jobs and I know that will massively improve my situation if it turns out good, but how can I feel like this wasn’t a bad idea?
How can I feel like I’ve done the right thing? I want to experience life as a “normal” 25-year-old, going out on weekends and just generally socialising. It’s something I have never experienced but crave so much. I live alone and am waiting for prospective tenants to move in. I suppose I’m going into not-so-relevant details now, but is there any advice you can offer to allow me to meet people? Please help.
Got a question for Viv? Email her at DearViv@thepoolltd.com. The Dear Viv podcast airs weekly on The Pool at 5pm on Tuesdays. All letters will be edited for length. Unfortunately Viv cannot reply to your emails personally.