Dear Viv: Can I let my boyfriend pay for our holiday?

On this week’s podcast, Viv discusses what to when your new partner offers to pay for an expensive trip

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By Viv Groskop on

Dear Viv, 

I met my boyfriend while living and working abroad this year – we’re both British and are planning to move back to the UK together, next year. But, before we do, he wants to do what he calls a "blowout" trip around Asia, Australia and South America. It would be a six-month trip and, while I love this idea, we wouldn’t be able to work while travelling (I’m currently an EFL teacher and he works in finance).

I’ve been really careful with my money this year and living off my earnings. While I’m proud of being able to support myself, I just don’t have the kind of savings necessary for a trip like this. I’ve told my boyfriend that and he’s told me not to worry, and that he can cover the cost.

While this is an incredibly generous offer, I feel really uncomfortable about the disparity and also worried about what it will mean on the trip – what if I want to buy myself something or book in for an activity that he’s not interested in? Will I have to ask his permission?

I feel like I will feel uncomfortable suggesting expensive activities or anything, really – but he says I’m being silly. The feminist part of me is also a bit conflicted about the idea of him financing me – it just makes me feel a bit strange. Am I over-thinking this?

Got a question for Viv? Email her at The Dear Viv podcast airs weekly on The Pool at 5pm on Tuesdays. All letters will be edited for length. Unfortunately Viv cannot reply to your emails personally. 

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